“WTF” doesn’t even begin to explain what Hindi translators do to Hollywood film titles. Brace yourself. Here we go.
1. ‘Mahadabbang’ – Captain America.
Reallllyyyy?
2. ‘Raftaar ka Junoon’ – Fast and Furious.
Sigh.
3. ‘Museum Ke Andar Phas Gaya Sikandar’ – Night at the Museum.
How hard is Museum Me Raat?
4. ‘Pralay Ki Shuruaat’ – 2012.
Why can’t 2012 be just 2012 in Hindi?!
5. ‘Mr. And Mrs. Sharma’ – Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
Okay, really? Smith = Sharma?
6. ‘Samundar Ke Lootere: Kaale Moti Ka Shaap’ – Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl.
Wait, wasn’t Black Pearl the ship?
7. ‘Sherni No. 1′ – Sequel of Lara Croft: Tomb Raider.
More like a Bhojpuri title.
8. ‘Mahashaktimaan’ – The Matrix.
Okay why do they do this to us?
WHY?
9. ‘Mayajaal’ – The Matrix Reloaded.
Better than Mahashaktimaan.
But still so sad.
10. ‘Mahasangraam’ – The Matrix Revolutions
Can I have some water, please?
11. ‘Anjaan Vinashak’ – Aliens.
LOL.
12. ‘Vaanar Raaj’ – Planet of the Apes.
Not so bad.
Relatively.
13. ‘Kaun Banega Crorepati… Bhoot Bangle Ke Andar?!’ – House on the Haunted Hill.
OMFG I WANNA CRY.
14. ‘Dil Fenk Haseena’ – Heartbreakers.
There, there.
15. ‘Ek Bandar Hotel Ke Andar’ – Dunston Checks In.
Ugh.
16. ‘Mahakaal’ – Ghost Rider.
Oooh I am so scared.
17. ‘Khooni Darinde’ – Underworld.
So scared.
Of these people who get to make titles.
18. ‘Karo Ya Maro’ – Dead or Alive.
Sensible.
Relatively.
19. ‘Zindaa Hoon Main’ – I Am Legend.
Umm, okay.
-_-
20. ‘Maut Ka Chumma’ – Kiss of the Dragon.
Okay wow.
21. ‘Dhoom hi Dhoom’ – Taxi.
WHY NOT JUST TAXI?
WHYYT NOTT?!!
22. ‘Kho Gaya Nemo… Aapne Dekha Kya?’ – Finding Nemo.
Nahi.
Aap jaisi title wali film ko kisne dekha, by the way?
23. ‘Angaarey Baney Sholay’ – Avengers.
Aw poor Marvel. 🙁
24. ‘Ek baby, teen badmaash’ – Baby’s Day Out.
Sigh.
25. ‘Hum Hai Lajawaab’ – The Incredibles.
Jee nahi.
26. ‘Football Shootball Haay Rabba’ – Bend It Like Beckham.
WHAT. IS. WRONG. WITH. THESE. PEOPLE.
No, seriously, what?
27. ‘Murder Ka Nashaa’ – Basic Instinct.
Huh?
28. ‘Jasoos Bandar’ – Spymate.
Kill me now.
29. ‘Faulaadi Rakshak’ – Iron Man 3.
NOOOOOOOOOO. Grr.
30. ‘Sapno Ka Mayajaal: Chakravyuh’ – Inception.
K dude.
31. ‘Khatarnaak Mission’ – Tears of the Sun.
Nonsense.
32. ‘Maha-aakraman’ – Black Hawk Down.
We just love the word maha don’t we.
Admit it.
33. ‘Disco Deewane’ – Saturday Night Fever.
No.
34. ‘Ek Kaatil’ – Blitz.
Why am I still alive?
35. ‘Kanoon Ke Rakhwaale’ – The Green Hornet.
God save the law.
36. ‘Mahabali Hulk’ – Incredible Hulk.
Maha. Again.
37. ‘Bunty, Bablu aur Jacky’ – Rob-B-Hood.
Agra kyun nahi chale jaate?
38. ‘Mastaan Ka Sona’ – Mackena’s Gold.
Mackena = Mastaan. Yep.
39. ‘Prithvi Ke Rakshak, Antriksh Ke Bhakshak’ – Men In Black 3.
SOOOO COOOOOL!!!
Not.
40. ‘Maut Ka Bulava’ – Resident Evil.
God.
41. ‘Sabse Bada Shikaari’ – Welcome To The Jungle.
What a jungle!
42. ‘Bindaas Bavarchi’ – Ratatouille.
Okayyyyyyyy.
43. ‘Inaam 10 Crore’ – S.W.A.T.
We can imagine their dumb faces when they tried to translate the full form of SWAT in Hindi.
Too difficult?
Let’s change the title.
Inaam 10 Crore. Yep.
44. ‘Saajish’ – Vantage Point.
Hmmm.
45. ‘Khatron ka Khiladi’ – Django Unchained.
Bhai, kyun karte ho aisa?
46. ‘Aage Maut Piche Maut’ – Looper.
Awww, sooo sad.
Die.
47. ‘Vinashak Shastra’ – Stealth.
Bleh.
48. ‘Maar Diya Jaye Ya Badal Diya Jaye?’ – The Replacement Killers.
Humko chhod do bhai.
49. ‘Myau Myau Aur Bhow Bhow’ – Cats and Dogs: Revenge of Kitty Galore.
WAIT WHATTT…!
WHYYYYY?
50. ‘Mission Osama Bin Laden’ – Zero Dark Thirty.
Sigh.