When I was a child, my mother used to tell me a delightful story that when God created the world and humans, he thought, now that he has created the world and so many humans, who would take care of everybody? Then he created mothers! Well, but that perfect woman comes with package of love, chef, inbuilt maps and loads and loads of drama and a emotional blackmail switch (Just hope it doesn’t activate!)
Here are 15 common things Indian mothers say:
#1. Beta… Khana Khaya? (Please… let it be a yes!)
The primary concern of every Indian mother, even prior to her daily soap (maybe) is whether her child has had his/her food or not! Call her at 2am during an emergency or to tell her that you’ve got a job, her first query would be: “Beta, khana khaya?” That’s where her world starts: Food. And ends as well!
#2. Kitna Patla Ho Gaya Hai!
You are on the dining table, and are being served delicious roti by your mother, she always insists on “Ek aur roti!” Deny and you will be bombarded with: “Kitna Patla Ho Gaya Hai,” or “Kuch Khati hi Nahi” and then you’d be compared to the thinnest objects, endlessly. Meet her after a college trip or after months of studying abroad and she will investigate with wide-eyes: “Waha khana nahi dete the kya, lakdi ho gayi hai meri beta!” Yes, she doubts if you survived on air!
#3. Saara Din Phone..
Does this sound similar: “Poora din kiske saath baat karte ho?,” “What is WhatsApp? Whats is LOL?” “Ye kya poora din mobile main ghoose rehte ho?” She hates your mobile more than the ‘saas’ of her favourite soap-bahu but always is on to learn the technology! Mingling, you see!
#4. Paapa Se Puch
Go and ask your mom something she cannot agree to and she’d say: “Go ask your paapa” and when you go ask your Daddy, he’d say: “Go ask your mummy.” The loop continues and you go asking for the same thing! Welcome to Sarkari office.
#5. Kaha Hai Beta?
What’s the similarity between a GPS and Mom? Well, they both want to know your current position. Be out of her sight for ‘unknown’ reasons and she’ll call you and ask, “Kaha ho beta, ghar kab aa rahe ho?” Didn’t answer that call? She thinks you are abducted! They think it is 12am when it is actually 8pm! And when you reach home, “Ye koi time hai ghar aane ka!” Compose yourself for the 10 minute lecture and the subsequent never ending tail of questions.
#6. Mere bachhe ko kisi ki nazar lag gayi!
Other than being a super good cook, the keeper of your things, the love-care-share machine, she’s also a certified doctor in her own means. Whatever would happen to you, “Mere pyaare bachche ko kisi ki nazar lag gayi hai!” Oh yeah. For every single thing! Doesn’t stop here, the methods to ward off the “evil spirits” like nimbu, paani, kali mirch (refer your mom for more) would follow. So when you hear your mother say “Mere bete ko kisi kin nazar na lage!” that’s because you are her life, her pride, the apple of her eye!
#7. Ghus ja TV ke andar, Man of the Match jaise tujhe mil raha hai! *Hmph*
“Ghus ja TV ke andar, fir chasmah lag jae to mujhe mat bolna!” Well, like mobile, she hates our TV time too and if you are watching a match at the altar of her serial, one that she always complains about and yet manages to watch every single episode of, these sentences continue in a loop until you stop responding or you give up! Later one is what follows with you ultimately giving up the remote! *Evil smile by her*
#8. “Papa ko bol dungi!”
‘Nuff said!
#9. Tum jab bade ho jaoge.. *Madam Astrologer*
How many times in a day would you hear, “Tum jab bade ho jaoge na tab maalom padega!” And if some day you’d be an extra mile on being naughty, she’d predict even more like, “Tum maa-baap banoge aur hamare jaisi halat hogi tab pata chalega!” Is it some kind of a curse?
#10. Meri Beti… Mera rani…. meri guddi… *Awwwww*
Unlike Papa, who cannot contain his sarcasm when he says “Uth gaye laad-sahab” when you wake up at 10, mothers are kind. Be it 10 or 11 she’d welcome you to the morning with “Uth gaya mera raja beta, aaja nasta kar le!” instantly making you feel grateful for her love. Again!
#11. Aakhir ek maa hun na *Sigh*
“Maa hu naa…..” God forbid you ever hear these words, which are often followed by tears and drama! This can be heard around when she makes food for you and you be like “Why did you make it, I said I am not hungry!” That’s it! Another version of this could be heard like this, “Galti toh meri hi hai na, maa jo hun teri!” Making you feel guilty instantaneously. And then when you do what she wants, she’d hug you and go “Awwww….mera beta!” That moment you forget everything and contain yourself in the goddess of your life!
#12. Ye nakhre sirf main sahungi, biwi/husband sidha kar denge teko!
Ask her to make a cup of tea more than once in a day and you will surely here this: “Zyada chai pine se kala ho jaega!” Mutter anything close to the tea having less sugar and she will say, “At least, main chai bana ke deti hu, teri shaadi to ho jae, fir dekhna kaise muh band ho jata hai!” It would continue with how the girl/boy in question will make you eat non-gol, ‘jali hui roti’ (life crisis!) and get the food from hotels daily! This she says 10 minutes after repeating for the 1581th time, “Beta shadi kar le, ab main thak gayi hu!” Conflict of interest anyone?
#13. Kyunki main keh rahi hu. PERIOD.
Remember the time when you were young and you kept asking your mum ‘what’s this’, ‘what’s that’ and she patiently explained it all to you? Now that you are grown up, ask ‘Why’ to anything she asks you to do and she will say, “Maine bola isiliye!” Case closed! But go on and challenge her reply. “Battameez, zaban ladate hai apni maa se?” Case definitely closed!
#14. Roti gol nahi banegi to.. *Curtains*
“Agar roti gol nahi bani na, to koi shaadi nahi karega!” This one is especially for girls. No education, no hobbies, no resonance of thoughts. All that would matter to your ‘Hone wale!’ is how ‘gol’ your roti is. And girl, if its not in shape, you better get back to kitchen and rehearse, or else no boy’s gonna marry you! And she means it!
#15. Main toh naukar hun na iss ghar ki.
“Main kya is ghar ki naukar hu?” Bags, clothes, chargers, gadgets, socks (refer your mother for more!) is never kept at its place by any Indian kid even after repeated chants of “Sab cheez apni jagah par hi rakhna!” But we have taken an oath of not doing so and the time we need it, all we have is “Mummyyyyyy” and tada! She’s always ready to provide us with what we need from our socks to art of living, obviously with that dialogue, masala maarke! :*
Mothers, the irreplaceable angel of our lives! Leave more of your mum’s dramatic quotes in the comments below.
