Is It Self-Obsession Or Is It Self-Doubt?

Is It Self Obsession Or Is It Self Doubt?

Confidence, self-respect, self-obsession, self indulgence and pride. There’s a thin line between these terms, you never know when you cross it. Of course, for us we are more important than the others, our happiness reigns. Is selflessness something too great to achieve? Can anybody reach it? You say you are the best, but deep down inside are you confident of yourself?

Do you spend hours and hours together in front of the mirror? Do the people around you always have to remind you that they exist? Are you always thinking about your looks and are scared of getting de-glam-ed? Do you always like to be the centre of attention and attraction? If yes, then maybe the use of the term “narcissistic” is best suited for you.

Narcissism, in lay terms, basically means that a person is totally absorbed in self. The extreme narcissist is the centre of his own universe. To an extreme narcissist, people are things to be used. It usually starts with a significant emotional wound or a series of them culminating in a major trauma of separation/attachment. But since narcissism is apparently a bad trait, the term that it is replaced with is, ”Self-esteem”.

Esteem: To regard highly or favourably; regard with admiration.

Let me explain it to you this way. When someone asks you, “Why do you have a high opinion of yourself?

You say, “Because I have high self-esteem.”


“Because I love myself.”


“Because… Because I have high self-esteem.”


“Because I love myself.”

It goes on unto infinity.

I’m saying I have NO self-esteem, for the same reason that I have no pet unicorns. Self-esteem is a nonsensical fantasy

If your indulgence in yourself is so high that you are occupied with issues of personal adequacy, power, prestige and vanity then you my friend are a narcissist. You give so much importance to yourself that you have created a huge ego which gets affected with even the tiniest of issues. For example, you never want to be portrayed in a bad light. But doesn’t it mean that if you love yourself then you should always stick to the feeling, no matter what?

Self-admiration. You can admire yourself, and regard yourself highly, while you actually regard yourself modestly? Admire yourself? If someone asked you who you “admire,” and if you answer “myself,” do you still fit the humility bill? Can you gobble up a large chocolate truffle cake while exercising self-control? Can you be a pathological liar while being a person of integrity? Incredible. Now, can you head north to sound the trumpet of your own superiority, while also heading south to do the same? Duh! Who are you kidding?

Apologists will claim that self-esteem is simply a matter of confidence, but if self-esteem is confidence then why don’t we just call it confidence? Although they sometimes bear similar-looking fruit, they stem from vastly different roots. Or, I should say, confidence has roots while self-esteem is grounded in nothingness. A student should only be confident about a test if she studied for it. An actor should be confident of his acting skills and should work on it if he has talent. A singer should only be confident in her abilities if she, in fact, has abilities, and if she then works diligently to fine tune them. So basically, if you have a high level of confidence with a reason that is good enough to justify it then it is healthy. Reality based confidence is necessary. On the other hand, confidence without reason could be defined as self-esteem, as self-esteem is something conjured out of thin air.

If you do love yourself then why do you ‘Photoshop’ your pictures before uploading them? Don’t you love yourself no matter what? Don’t you have the confidence that you will look amazing?

So, you love yourself! That is what your Facebook status said the other day, right? If you do love yourself then why do you ‘Photoshop’ your pictures before uploading them? Don’t you love yourself no matter what? Don’t you have the confidence that you will look amazing? You wonder if people will love you for whoever you are? maybe yes.. maybe no.. We have created an image about ourselves. At times its the way we want to portray ourselves in front of others. And at times we tend to behave the way the others want to see us. Lets face it.. we all do that! I don’t want to be called a hypocrite. Even I do that! Even I am extremely self-conscious. But only we know what we really are. Our true selves! Only we truly understand ourselves! When we look into the mirror, the mirror tends to reflect us in reality. The absolute reality.. You search for yourself in the mirror. The one which is lost somewhere in this farce world.

The biggest mistake that you can make is that you doubt yourselves. You lose your confidence somewhere in this self-obsession of yours. Give it a thought. Your obsession with yourself can be a reason of your insecurity. But in this narcissism of yours, don’t you think you are drifting away from the people around you? Your best friends should be living human beings! Not mirrors! You wouldn’t want to die out of grief for having fallen in love with someone that does not exist outside your own self.

Think about it.

– Contributor, DU Times

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